Sometimes it boggles the mind what people are willing to spend their hard-earned money on. From stickers that supposedly “realign your body” to an electric nose shaper, and everything in between. Yes, both of those things exist, and yes, people have purchased them.
I’d like to think the barrage of ridiculous items is due to so many things being readily available to purchase online, but a lot of these products existed in infomercial form long before they hit the world wide web! Let’s take a look at some of the most unbelievable products that actually exist.
Body Vibes Stickers
If you haven’t heard about Gwyneth Paltrow’s company, Goop, then you’re in for a treat. This company comes up with ridiculous products almost as fast as they can be shot down by the medical and scientific community. Among their many, many absurd products with outrageous claims, are “Body Vibes Stickers.”
While these may look like regular stickers with vague mystical hipster icons on them, Goop claims that each sticker is actually a vibrating energy disk that connects with the body’s electromagnetic energy. Goop also claims that wearing these stickers can help with all sorts of ailments from insomnia to anxiety. Maybe that’s why a pack of 10 stickers costs $60!
Perhaps the most unbelievable claim about the stickers is that they are made from the same conductive material that lines the NASA spacesuits. Unsurprisingly, NASA came forward and said no such material exists. Medical professionals and scientists have also been outspoken on how bogus these claims are.
Long Reach Comfort Wipe
Ah, here’s a good old fashioned infomercial gem. The Long Reach Comfort Wipe. I think the opening line in the infomercial is pure gold, “For over 100 years, we’ve been scrunching and folding toilet paper. Finally, there’s a better way!”
And what, exactly, is that better way? To scrunch toilet paper onto the end of a stick and use that to clean up after going to the bathroom. Obviously. Now, to be fair, this product is marketed to senior citizens as a way to maintain dignity when going to the bathroom. It claims to extend your reach by up to 18 inches.
However, when tested, you have to really cram a bunch of toilet paper onto the end of the Comfort Wipe, and in the end, it’s more likely to fall out than to make it to its intended destination. A big swing and a miss!
Why scream into the void when you can scream into a jar? Well, for one, screaming into the void is free. This Scream Jar is designed to make a scream come out as no more than a whisper. I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember the last time I screamed. This product seems to be for people who are in a constant state of rage and just need to yell and get everything out.
While that’s a weird premise, I guess it could be useful for those who struggle with anger management. Although, I would think a better solution would be to take some classes and get the needed therapy. That’s a moot point, however, seeing as the Scream Jar doesn’t work. That’s right. This product has been tested quite a few times, and it barely masks the scream at all!
Electric Nose Shaper
I just… I can’t with this one. One look at this device and I can already tell I’d hurt myself and end up needing surgery to fix the mess I created.
What’s even more outstanding to me, is that this is marketed as an alternative for rhinoplasty. That’s right. This $14 device that you hook into your nose while it vibrates for 3 minutes is supposedly a less invasive but still effective way to shape your nose. I almost feel bad for anyone who buys this thinking they’ll get the same results as a $5,000+ surgery.
Contact Lens Jewelery
What? Jewelry for your contact lens? Yes, apparently so. Don’t get me wrong, I love cute earrings, and I had a nose piercing for a while that I also loved. But contact lenses that have a string of diamonds hanging from them?
Created by Dutch designer, Eric Klarenbeek, these contact lenses hit the market in 2008. In an online video, Eric said, “A contact lens becomes jewelry, such as spectacles ever became a representation of our identity. Our fear for imperfectness makes us modify our surrounding and being, striving for virtual perfection. Not being someone we should be, but someone we could be.”
I’m not sure if I followed his logic, but then again, I wouldn’t ever buy this product. I must not be the target audience, and I am totally okay with that!